about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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