ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i dont even know how to be here
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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