I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
