why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
