Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
