Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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