it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
