Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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