So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
