remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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