why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
