South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
