Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Congratulations! We have a period
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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