A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
