I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
