She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
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I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
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I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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