Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize