i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
