come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
