found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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