You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
