Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
