So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
