i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
