If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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