party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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