I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
