hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
