I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize