mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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