I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
