Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
