So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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