Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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