Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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