I must be too annoying 4 u.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
