You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
