barbara walters just said penis...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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