Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
