You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
