It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
last night I used snow as a chaser
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize