Define "chronic" masturbator.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
