I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
