i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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