dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
