This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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