ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
