I'm eating all of the evidence.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
