the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
