I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
