There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize