I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
