Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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