the new term for farting is butt boxing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
