It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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