i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
