Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
