i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
