You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
